In the future we'll all be gay
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
