I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
