Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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