their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
