thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
