I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
