proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
