I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
