i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
