dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
