You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
