We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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