Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
