and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
