we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
