Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
false alarm. still invincible.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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