Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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