also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
