1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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