My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Drunk is a universal language darling
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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