ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
