Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
