This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
