I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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