God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
