singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
