dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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