i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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