I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
