i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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