I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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