Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
