Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
