She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
