Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
