when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
