I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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