I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
