Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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