toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
