I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
smell my finger.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
