We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
