You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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