She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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