I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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