imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
