I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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