I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
