Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
