Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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